


Bad Habits

by mystiri1



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alcohol, Bloodplay, Child Abuse, M/M, Promiscuity, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-25
Updated: 2010-04-25
Packaged: 2017-10-09 03:52:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/82725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystiri1/pseuds/mystiri1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows it's bad for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Habits

Gojyo's always been just a little bit in love with the things that are bad for him.

He knows his lifestyle is questionable at best. The alcohol, the smoking – neither of them are habits that contribute to a long and healthy life, but that's fine by him. He's enjoying himself. He doesn't spend much time worrying about the future, anyway.

Gambling is not the safest way to make a living, or the steadiest income, but Gojyo isn't bothered by that. He's had as many fights with disgruntled boyfriends as he has those unhappy with their losses.

The women, too – none of them are the kind that he would seriously consider settling down with. Gojyo's in no danger of falling in love with them, any more than they're going to fall in love with him. They're just looking for a good time, and sometimes a bit of cash. He's careful about using protection, because he's not stupid. He doesn't want to catch anything, and has no intention of leaving bastards behind him.

If he looks back far enough, then maybe he can admit that it was even there in his relationship with his stepmother. The way he would seek out her attention, even if it was only in the form of another blow. He doesn't like to think about that time, because then he might admit to himself that she was going to kill him, and he would have let her. He would have let her kill him because it was _her_, and he did love her, as screwed up as that was. A small part of him wonders if Jien knew this, knew that Gojyo had been perfectly willing to die at his stepmother's hands, wonders if maybe that's why Jien left. Because while he might have killed his own mother to save Gojyo, it wasn't over: saving Gojyo from himself is a full-time job. He can't blame Jien for not wanting to take it on.

But he doesn't really like to think about that much.

When he finds a youkai lying in the middle of the road with his guts hanging out, it's not the smart thing to do to take him home. For one thing, he doesn't know how he got hurt, and what trouble might be following him. The fact that the stranger wears no less than three limiters on his ear suggests that he's dangerous enough in himself.

Knowing that Hakkai is dangerous, and a mass-murderer, and not entirely sane, it's definitely not in his own best interest to invite the guy to stay. But Hakkai can cook and clean, and has no objections to doing either. He's polite, quiet, and well-spoken, Gojyo's opposite in so many ways. And they like each other well enough. Gojyo acts as if there's nothing unusual in this, continues on almost as though nothing has changed, and – most of the time, anyway – ignores the way Hakkai's polite smile sometimes takes a slightly sharper edge when he tracks dirt into the house or drops his laundry on the floor.

He's almost certain Hakkai won't snap and kill him for a little bit of dirt. Almost.

And it's rather uncomfortable to find his idea of 'beautiful' abruptly redefined the first time he sees Hakkai – what he privately thinks of as the _real_ Hakkai – fight. He's never been attracted to another guy before, but there's something in the way he moves, all speed and power as he tears through his enemies. It's a slaughter, pure and simple, but that's not the reason Gojyo is stunned. Like this, Hakkai looks wild and predatory and graceful.

Hakkai is also uncomfortable afterwards, but not, Gojyo expects, for quite the same reasons.

Going on Sanzo's journey is just another thing that will ensure he never lives to a ripe old age, if the numbers of youkai out to kill them is any indication. The fact that a large part of him enjoys the battles, the thrill of combat, even though more than once he's come pretty close to getting killed – well, nobody ever said he was smart.

And sometimes, he gets to see Hakkai without the limiters, every bit as dangerous and beautiful as the first time. It's kind of distracting, except _this_ Hakkai isn't going to let anyone live long enough to kill Gojyo. That's enough to make him feel warm inside.

That distraction is probably how he came to be pinned to a tree in the aftermath of yet another ambush, Hakkai's hand wrapped around his throat. Gojyo can feel four needle-sharp pinpricks along one side of his neck and a fifth against the opposite jaw. A bright golden eye stares at him intently, hungrily. He doesn't know where Goku and Sanzo are; he doesn't really care, as long as it's not here.

“You know, even in my human form,” Hakkai purrs, “I have a rather acute sense of smell. Like this, it's better.” He leans in, and Gojyo can feel the heat of his breath on his face. “Right now, I can smell your excitement, your fear... and your lust.”

_Well,_ Gojyo thinks to himself, _that's embarrassing_. And all this time he thought he'd managed to keep it secret. He'd ask how long Hakkai had known, but then, he has more important things to wonder about right now.

He tilts his chin a little higher, in defiance or maybe to bare his throat even more. He feels a small twinge of pain on his jaw, because those claws are sharp, and there's something that's probably not just sweat running down his neck.

“Yeah?” he says challengingly, watching Hakkai lick his lips. It shows him a glimpse of his teeth, the way the canines are now noticeably longer than the rest. Fangs, the kind of teeth designed to rend and tear flesh because that's what predators do. Gojyo wets his own lips, a little nervously. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Gojyo's always been just a little bit in love with things that are bad for him. But, he thinks as Hakkai licks the blood from the small wound his claw made, that's what makes life interesting.


End file.
